Morning Routine
by RhythmBlack
Summary: A one-shot about Joey's over exaggerated explantion of his mornings. Rated T for language.


Morning Routine

Chapter 1-Joey

Disclaimer –I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! But I do own this plot.

Beep! Beep! Its 5:45 and it's the crack of dawn. Beep! Beep! "Goddamnit alarm clock! Shut the fuck up! I'm telling a story!" I hissed at the inanimate object fully knowing that I won't get a response back. (Stupid machine. Interrupting me while I'm telling a story. … Oh yeah! Where was I)

The irritating alarm clock has just disturbed my perfect slumber. Still groggy, I slowly drag my feet against my not so delicate rug. "Ugg! Why do I have to do so much for a piece of junk that doesn't even consider repaying me for all I've done for it! Ungrateful motherfucker!" I whispered my resentment to myself. Slowly I close the distance between myself and that freeloader I call an alarm clock. (About 10 feet)

Finally my journey has been completed. I dramatically place my palm on the snooze button. (You know how they put the hand in slow motion when it's reaching for something of importance.)….I waited for a few seconds. (1 second). Beep! Beep! The accursed contraption was still beeping its screen off.

Getting quite irritated, I bang my hand repeatedly on the snooze button. (What the fuck! Does this clock have a grudge against me or something?!) Just trying to put an end to my misery, I manually turn off the annoying alarm. (Now that I think about I should have done that in the first place. Anyway…..back to the story!) I now proceed to my next impossible task of turning on the light.

Slowly reaching for my demise, I flip the switch. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHGG!" A silent scream wracked through my body as a sharp imaginary pain shot up my spine. As I recover from the initial shock, I slowly look up to make eye contact with my ghostly enemy. The sight was more horrendous than I thought. (It was so horrid I couldn't even describe what I saw into to articulate words.)

My luminous foe sent a lustrous beam my way (meaning that the light got in my face) and flung me against the wall.(meaning that something was seriously wrong with me that time, which made me to act high and jump towards the wall like I was stupid.)

I hear a bang and a grunt of frustration from the other side of my wall. A heard annoyed voice ready to kick some ass tell me "Shut the fuck you godamn crack head! If I ever hear you pull some stupid shit like that again you wouldn't be able to feel that ass off yours for a month! You hear me you stupid dumbass?!" (Yup heard ya loud and clear captain. I do a salute to my wall before I face my enemy again.)

I feebly rise to my feet, and once again look up. This time I'm not pathetically knocked off my feet like some moronic imbecile. This time I stand firm and tall as I embrace my radiant foe. I do not waver in my stance. I make eye contact and make sure not to look away. For the first time ever I am victorious against my long time enemy.

I collapse to my feet with a satisfied sigh and look towards the direction of my tormentor. My bed. I watch as my blankets mock me with their arrogant grins on their imaginary faces. (I'm now starting to question my sanity.)

They try to tempt me back into my temporary home I call my bed. Eventually, I fall into the trap known as temptation, and slowly make my way back to my refuge sight.

I lay my head on my pillow and internally wallow in my not even worth bragging about accomplishment. My celebration doesn't last for long, because I realize that my battle with the alarm clock and the light lasted way longer than I intended it to be.

I steal a glance at my good for nothing clock, and reality hits me. It's 6:45! I nearly scream in shock, but I hold myself back because I remembered my dad's (captain's) warning.

Without a sound, I quickly strip off my clothes and race towards the bathroom. I know that I'm in a rush and if I don't hurry my lazy ass to school, my dad's going to kill me, but that's okay, because I can proudly tell Yug and the gang who came out victorious this morning.

**Author's Note**

** This story was based off a narrative essay I had to write last year in 9****th**** grade for my English class. I know Joey's morning was over exaggerated but that was the point of the story. I'm not sure if I should add a sequel or not. If I do add one, it'd mostly focus on Yugi and his friends' reactions to Joey's story. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the story as much as I did! ^-^**


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